WTF Wednesday

As someone does when they go to school for journalism, I ask an obscene amount of questions when people are telling me stories. This also goes for when I’m watching tv, eavesdropping on strangers conversations (kidding) or just alone with my own thoughts. No joke, before my mom can finish a story I’ve interjected with about eight questions. Sometimes she will preempt me and say “Before you ask, no, there is no more information to this story than what I am telling you. So don’t ask.” It’s pretty clear to me that my asking questions is out of control and possibly infringing on my spot as the favorite child.

I also can’t get my brain around a lot of things and I won’t bore you with them, but I have A LOT of questions about Scientology and Multi-level Marketing businesses ::cough schemes cough::…it is just how my brain works. I could talk to a brick wall if it would answer questions and nod every now and then.

And this ladies and gentlemen, and mom, is why I present you my newest weekly series, drum roll please….WTF Wednesday!

It doesn’t count unless you hashtag!

I have a lot of WTF questions pretty regularly and often share them with my friends. Here are a few that I have recently pondered about:

• WTF: Why did I not stick with acting as a kid and why weren’t my parents stage-parents? I could be riding that sweet Disney Channel star turned Access Hollywood contributor-life right about now.
• WTF: Why isn’t Jake Tapper single and living in Orlando? He is taking this news anchoring thing all the way to the bank AND my heart. Sigh.
• WTF: Who is still using Comic Sans in any shape or form? My friends will tag me in Comic Sans photos on Facebook or send a really hideous sign they see in Comic Sans, Papyrus or any other offending font because they know my response will be: WTF?!

Those are just musings for me and fleeting questions. However, one WTF question has floated around in my brain a lot: Who is getting tatted without paying for it?

Hey, Chainsmokers, I really like your song ‘Closer’ but I have one little question. In the song we learn that this girl stole a mattress, looks hot as hell four years later in a bar and drives a Range Rover that she can’t afford like the tattoo on her shoulder. Ok, you lost me here. Who has a tattoo that they cannot afford? Are people getting tatted without paying? Where is this studio? Are they exchanging goods for services? Is it a small tattoo and maybe that’s why she didn’t pay for it? Is it a piece that is going to take a few sessions so she’s not paying for it all upfront so she looks cheap with a half-done tattoo?

Now as I was sharing this rant with my roommate I told her that I swore the first few times I heard the song that I thought the lyrics were ‘bite that tattoo on your shoulder’.  She laughed and told me that she never heard them say that line. I assumed my incorrectness, and thus continued my ranting. I mean I’ve shared this conversation with barebones ten different people. Now, I have two tattoos and ink was not injected into my skin until I paid, and tipped (20% ya’ll!), my tattoo artist. So, I asked everyone I knew about this lyric because I just couldn’t wrap my head around these lyrics. This has been my ‘WTF question’ for few weeks now.

Hey, guys…guess what I learned today while writing this post? The lyrics are in fact ‘BITE that tattoo on your shoulder’! What the actual F?

Here’s my new WTF Wednesday moment on top of this: I WAS RIGHT! So double WTF? I’ve ranted about a lyric that I originally heard correctly for over a month. Sigh.

Fun fact, I know lyrics to almost any song and can have the lyrics memorized practically before a song I’ve heard for the first time is over. This skill set has yet to get me anywhere in life, however, I think I could slay on an episode of Carpool Karaoke. I should really purse that as a career.

Alright, its Wednesday, I’m clearly smarter at hearing lyrics than I realized, and we’re almost done with the week. More importantly, its National Margarita Day so I’m going to head out, meet up with my girl friends for some tequila and guac and have a really big laugh over this!

Cheers, babes!