I was recently asked by another really rad blogger, Brittany Grace from Not Another Blonde (follower her, she’s stunning, cool as hell and on a mission to help other bloggers, like myself, succeed) a question that threw me into a tailspin for a few days. In her Facebook group, she asked those of us who blog, for our blog elevator speech. I shared with her the first thing you’ll see when you land here at My Revamped Life: I’m a corner of the internet where female friendships are celebrated, tips are shared, rants are ranted, music is played loudly and #GirlBoss is never used!
24 hours later? Brittany asked me the question I ask so many other people: Why?
Whoa. This stumped me. What is my “why” and why should you care when you are here at My Revamped Life? Well, I guess it’s time to get real ladies (and men if you are reading)!
Growing up I had quite a few bullies in my life that masked themselves as my best friends. Think “Mean Girls” circa 1998 but with less Glenn Coco and more scrunchies. In middle school, I had girlfriends that would create elaborate schemes to see if they could catch me in a lie (they couldn’t) and to embarrass me in front of the others (they did). I would cry to my mom so often throughout elementary school and middle school that it’s any wonder I am still hydrated to this day.
When I was in elementary school I was part of a large group of girlfriends; I’d say there were eight of us. One of the girls in the group liked to write plays and include us girls as the main characters. Oh, I’m sorry did I say main character? I mean I was ALWAYS the ugly, evil, step-sister that would eventually die in the end and everyone would rejoice. This would happen in every play, honestly, even a Psych 101 student could see right through this. I didn’t, and I wanted to be liked so I rarely said anything when bullied.
I never told my mom about the plays, and when I did in my early 20s I thought she was going to go through the roof. I allowed this girl to secretly bully me for five years and my mom had no idea. No one champions me more than my awesome mama and she had some colorful words for this girl. Now in my early 30s we all look back and laugh and just feel bad for who this girl was when she was 10.
The list goes on really, like the time my ‘best friend’ in high school pushed me out of my group of friends that I had introduced her too. That was fun because I didn’t get to go to prom with the girls who I spent my high school career with. I mean I got to go with the guys from our group (They chose me, and they chose right) and so I still had a great time but this ‘friend’ took my girls away from me. Update: My bfn (Best Friend Nicole) from high school has apologized for even siding with this friend and we picked up right where we left off in college and I’m off to her wedding in a few weeks. We are STILL best friends.
That’s where I’m going with all of this…I have had some truly, terrible, send you to therapy (No joke. Went to therapy in high school for anxiety attacks because a ‘friends’ mother was bullying me) experiences in my 33 years on this lil’ planet. I don’t want that to happen to ANYONE else. I want to make sure that you all have the best experiences with your friends and that nothing takes you all down. Sure, arguments will pop up here and there and guess what? I have advice for that, too. Been there. Done that.
I feel so strongly in female friendships that empower you, elevate you, make you a better person and truly are some of the best loves of your lives. This is why I continue to roll my eyes and get upset when I read articles that pit women against each other. It’s why I want to us to shout from the roof that we’re bosses, bitches and not girl bosses. I hope you feel the same way. And if you don’t? I love that you want to keep GirlBoss in your vernacular and can’t wait for you to tell me how wrong I am and that it works for you. Seriously, I can take it when I’m wrong, just know that I won’t use it.
But if you’re on the fence? Let me argue my side: I work for a Fortune 100 company, hell it’s the top of the top. True talk: I work for The Walt Disney Company in Orlando, FL (aka Walt Disney World). I work mainly with men: engineers, industrial designers, manufacturers, fulfillment teams, packaging companies and so much more. You know what I haven’t heard them say to me in a meeting? #BoyBoss! I don’t tell these guys I’m a girl, hear me roar. They aren’t stupid, they know I’m a woman. But I do have to come to the table, and fucking sit at it with them, lean in and look at a man and say “You were late on this deadline. I need to know how this happened, why you didn’t keep me informed and what we’re going to do next time to ensure this doesn’t happen again.”
I don’t say sorry if I don’t mean it, I never say ‘just checking in’ and I am tough. Also, my boss gets told weekly by my peers and partners how much fun I am to work with, how when they work with me they know the job is going to get done, get done correctly, we’re going to go above and beyond and we’re going to have a blast. That’s my reputation in the company and I worked hard for it.
At the end of the day, I want you to look in the mirror and like who you see. To know that you’ve got this and that someone thinks you’re great and is in your corner and honestly wants the best for you.
That’s my pitch. That’s my elevator speech (lord this was like a 100 story building elevator). I believe that I am an authority in this because other women tried to tear me down and sometimes they won. I will not let that happen again to myself, or anyone else…especially you.
Keep coming back I have so much for you in the next few weeks. Some more jams I think you’re going to love and a LOT of interviews with women who continue to inspire me, make me so happy to know them and who are SO rad that you’re going to want to make them part of your Internet BFF world!
Ok let’s end this puppy on a light note: LOFT is having a 40% off sale on all tops. Go buy yourself something pretty, you totally deserve it!
This is such a meaningful and important post Erika, so thank you! I’ve been really thinking about my ‘why’ recently too, and you’ve inspired me to try and explain it in a heartfelt blog post. Can’t wait to read those upcoming interviews! Love your work ❤️❤️
Thank you so much! I felt like it was the best way for me to move forward to share with people why I have this passion. Can’t wait to check out YOUR ‘why’!!! xoxo, erika
This is my first visit to your blog, and I have to say, that’s a pretty great why! To be honest, I haven’t read #Girlboss. I know many people are inspired by it. Personally, I’ve always felt like women worked long and hard to become a boss, and that the phrase “girl boss” minimizes their hard work and the respect they deserve.
Beth! I couldn’t agree more! Let’s also stop calling women ‘girls’! Thanks for stopping by, can’t wait to check out your site and read all about you. So glad to have you part of our little corner of the internet! xo, erika
I like that. Your “Elevator Speech.” I’ve learned of this in Toastmaster. I will have to use this for my blog questions. Thank you for sharing.
You’re in Toastmaster? That is SO awesome!! I think we all need an elevator speech for so many things in our lives, so why not our blogs?! Can’t wait to see what you create! xo, erika
I can’t believe that i’ve never came across your blog before but now that I have let me say; I love it and I can tell from this post that you are a bad ass boss! I’m sorry you were bullied for so many years but look at you now! You sparkle and inspire!
Thank you SO much for stopping by and I hope you keep coming back! Your kind words mean so much to me and I’m so happy to have you here!! xo, Erika
Wow! Thanks for sharing your “why.” <3 I need to think through my elevator pitch and my why now!
You must!! It definitely helps provide your readers with your authority in your niche and I think it helps you hone in on your writing! Can’t wait to see what you come up with!! xo, erika
This is so inspiring. I’ve had good friendships and bad friendships in my life and it’s not easy. Recently I had a male friend who I kind of let walk all over me and really bring me down, and I’m a little embarrassed to admit that. Still trying to build myself back up now. Also, I think it’s really cool you work for the Disney company!
I’m so glad you enjoyed this. Don’t let anyone bring you down, especially that dude who is probably a huge jerk. Come back often, I want to continue to inspire you to put yourself first and surround yourself with amazing friendships! Disney is great and I’m SO in to your blog and love reading about our Guests!! xoxo, Erika
I never let others tear me down – I am happy with who I am as a person and no one can change that!!! I wish all women had that mindset!
Killer mindset and it’s working for you so well, that’s amazing. Hopefully we can one day get to a place where we’re all lifting each other up and not even thinking about negativity! xoxo, erika
Great blog! So many bullies our there and it needs to stop right now! Love your blog! Power to you!
Thanks so much! I agree, hopefully we can start a positive change for all the women out there! xoxo, erika
Love this! I actually had a similar thing not too long ago, so I definitely get where you’re coming from. The term girl boss also irritates me, if only for the fact that I’m just someone who is great at my job! Why does the fact that I’m a woman have to do anything with that? But if it’s inspiring others then go for it!
I love EVERYTHING that you’re saying about girl boss and whole heartedly agree. But you’re right, everyone gets to pick what inspires them but here? it’s a hard no!! hehe, keep coming back! xoxo, erika
Yes, Toastmaster is great way to learn or brush up on public speaking or just speaking in a work setting. Also learning listening skills (which I needed). They are all over the country. Even in Florida….I’m sure near Disney. 🙂 Have a blessed/revamped day.
YES! I’ll have to check it out!! Happy Wed!! xoxo, erika
This was a great post. I love reading how people overcame struggles. I write about that myself. I’d love to be interviewed, if you would be interested! Keep being confident, keep doing a good job and my motto has always been, NEVER CARE WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS. It’s very liberating to live that way, trust me. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by Doreen! Can’t wait to read bout your world, too! xo, erika
I love your ‘why’! It is so honest and relatable. I also think it’s great that you and your friend from high school were able to mend everything and are still friends today! Love that!!
Thank you so much, Michelle!! I agree, it’s so great to know that some of our best friendships can make it through anything!! Happy almost weekend! xo, erika