I was recently asked by another really rad blogger, Brittany Grace from Not Another Blonde (follower her, she’s stunning, cool as hell and on a mission to help other bloggers, like myself, succeed) a question that threw me into a tailspin for a few days. In her Facebook group, she asked those of us who blog, for our blog elevator speech. I shared with her the first thing you’ll see when you land here at My Revamped Life: I’m a corner of the internet where female friendships are celebrated, tips are shared, rants are ranted, music is played loudly and #GirlBoss is never used!
24 hours later? Brittany asked me the question I ask so many other people: Why?
Whoa. This stumped me. What is my “why” and why should you care when you are here at My Revamped Life? Well, I guess it’s time to get real ladies (and men if you are reading)!
Growing up I had quite a few bullies in my life that masked themselves as my best friends. Think “Mean Girls” circa 1998 but with less Glenn Coco and more scrunchies. In middle school, I had girlfriends that would create elaborate schemes to see if they could catch me in a lie (they couldn’t) and to embarrass me in front of the others (they did). I would cry to my mom so often throughout elementary school and middle school that it’s any wonder I am still hydrated to this day.
When I was in elementary school I was part of a large group of girlfriends; I’d say there were eight of us. One of the girls in the group liked to write plays and include us girls as the main characters. Oh, I’m sorry did I say main character? I mean I was ALWAYS the ugly, evil, step-sister that would eventually die in the end and everyone would rejoice. This would happen in every play, honestly, even a Psych 101 student could see right through this. I didn’t, and I wanted to be liked so I rarely said anything when bullied.
I never told my mom about the plays, and when I did in my early 20s I thought she was going to go through the roof. I allowed this girl to secretly bully me for five years and my mom had no idea. No one champions me more than my awesome mama and she had some colorful words for this girl. Now in my early 30s we all look back and laugh and just feel bad for who this girl was when she was 10.
The list goes on really, like the time my ‘best friend’ in high school pushed me out of my group of friends that I had introduced her too. That was fun because I didn’t get to go to prom with the girls who I spent my high school career with. I mean I got to go with the guys from our group (They chose me, and they chose right) and so I still had a great time but this ‘friend’ took my girls away from me. Update: My bfn (Best Friend Nicole) from high school has apologized for even siding with this friend and we picked up right where we left off in college and I’m off to her wedding in a few weeks. We are STILL best friends.
That’s where I’m going with all of this…I have had some truly, terrible, send you to therapy (No joke. Went to therapy in high school for anxiety attacks because a ‘friends’ mother was bullying me) experiences in my 33 years on this lil’ planet. I don’t want that to happen to ANYONE else. I want to make sure that you all have the best experiences with your friends and that nothing takes you all down. Sure, arguments will pop up here and there and guess what? I have advice for that, too. Been there. Done that.
I feel so strongly in female friendships that empower you, elevate you, make you a better person and truly are some of the best loves of your lives. This is why I continue to roll my eyes and get upset when I read articles that pit women against each other. It’s why I want to us to shout from the roof that we’re bosses, bitches and not girl bosses. I hope you feel the same way. And if you don’t? I love that you want to keep GirlBoss in your vernacular and can’t wait for you to tell me how wrong I am and that it works for you. Seriously, I can take it when I’m wrong, just know that I won’t use it.
But if you’re on the fence? Let me argue my side: I work for a Fortune 100 company, hell it’s the top of the top. True talk: I work for The Walt Disney Company in Orlando, FL (aka Walt Disney World). I work mainly with men: engineers, industrial designers, manufacturers, fulfillment teams, packaging companies and so much more. You know what I haven’t heard them say to me in a meeting? #BoyBoss! I don’t tell these guys I’m a girl, hear me roar. They aren’t stupid, they know I’m a woman. But I do have to come to the table, and fucking sit at it with them, lean in and look at a man and say “You were late on this deadline. I need to know how this happened, why you didn’t keep me informed and what we’re going to do next time to ensure this doesn’t happen again.”
I don’t say sorry if I don’t mean it, I never say ‘just checking in’ and I am tough. Also, my boss gets told weekly by my peers and partners how much fun I am to work with, how when they work with me they know the job is going to get done, get done correctly, we’re going to go above and beyond and we’re going to have a blast. That’s my reputation in the company and I worked hard for it.
At the end of the day, I want you to look in the mirror and like who you see. To know that you’ve got this and that someone thinks you’re great and is in your corner and honestly wants the best for you.
That’s my pitch. That’s my elevator speech (lord this was like a 100 story building elevator). I believe that I am an authority in this because other women tried to tear me down and sometimes they won. I will not let that happen again to myself, or anyone else…especially you.
Keep coming back I have so much for you in the next few weeks. Some more jams I think you’re going to love and a LOT of interviews with women who continue to inspire me, make me so happy to know them and who are SO rad that you’re going to want to make them part of your Internet BFF world!
Ok let’s end this puppy on a light note: LOFT is having a 40% off sale on all tops. Go buy yourself something pretty, you totally deserve it!